Who Am I?

Justin often spoke of Ramana Maharshi with love and respect. One of the important parts of his teaching was to ask us to ask, “Who am I?” It seems simple and many people answer it simply. I am Fred, or I am Professor Fred, or they connect the question to other worldly answers. There are many levels to this question and answer. In years of reading The Vital Force, I’ve noticed that many teachers are interested in more than academic replies. Some have come to very high levels of knowing. If one truly wants an answer it will take the depth of our T’ai Chi Chih practice to get there.

Often, Justin inspired us to know the answer with his comments about TCC. He gave us the ultimate way to know more about our practice when he said, “One day you will be doing TCC and know that no one is doing anything. T’ai Chi is doing TCC.” Until that time we work on many aspects of TCC: softness, continuity, release, freedom, gentleness and swimming through very heavy air. The list is long.

Many teachers and students have experienced the ultimate only to find out that our practice doesn’t stop there. It begins there. We are taught to trust in our elders, but not in the Chi. We are taught to forgive others, instead of knowing that in the Chi there is only possibility, not right and wrong. If a three-year old throws his bowl on the floor, is it wrong? If an adult was taught to honor her group and disparage others, is that wrong? If an adult steels bread because his family is starving, is that wrong? If a child concludes that stealing is acceptable after seeing this, is she is wrong because of this conclusion?

When do we start to teach the greater part of thinking, feeling and doing? TCC teaches us to do this – not with rules, but from a greater knowing of who we are, which is learned in the silence of our practice. It may take a lifetime, or many lifetimes; but it is a worthy endeavor. As we grow in our practice we come to know how to love and share the Chi.