Shadow Practice Revisited

It is quiet here in the open area behind our local high school. The numerous ball fields, tennis courts and grassy areas are deserted. The playground and track are closed, picnic tables abandoned. It is spring, baseball season. Sadly there is no activity … no baseball games or track meets or tennis matches, no spectators, no children squealing with delight on the jungle gym or the slide. Even the birds chirp quietly, and squirrels scamper on the ground with a hush.

I come here every day now and find it a refuge, a change of scenery from my home where I spend most of my time these days. I walk the pathways. I sit and reflect and write and practice T’ai Chi Chih. There is a peaceful feel here. I am a solitary being in a place of solitude.

Just the other day my practice became a profound experience; it was a shadow practice with myself. With my back to the sun, the sunlight cast my shadow on the concrete in front of me. It must have been the perfect time of day. I have experienced this before, but this day was different, maybe because the world is different right now.

Senses and awareness heightened, I was able to see and feel deeply every nuance, every gentle wrist turn and smooth weight shift, the ease with which my arms moved, the flow from the t’an tien. All of this was visible before me in my shadow. I especially noticed my hands, how the light shone between the shadow of my fingers while moving or in rest. I could feel and see softness in my slightly curved hands. I noticed the ease of my waist turning, the slightest movement of my shoulders moving with the waist and my slow gliding weight shift.

And then I saw the most amazing picture silhouetted right in front of me. For a brief moment I saw an upside-down heart appear when my hands formed and carried the ball. I saw this silhouette again when my hands came together at the height of Daughter in the Valley and once more in Light at the Top of the Head when my hands were above the crown of my head. It was a euphoric moment, and I felt it carried a message to me.

My shadow, now my partner, seemed to dance with me. I smiled, felt lighter, more grounded and not so isolated. I am especially grateful the sun came out that day, and it was perfectly positioned in the sky. I look forward to another shadow practice, another sunny day.