Feeling It, and the Universe

Feeling it, by Lisa Stroyan, Fort Collins, Colorado

Feeling it: In the Fall online T’ai Chi Chih (TCC) teacher accreditation, April Leffler had us, while sitting, feel into our tan t’ien. “Find the joy,” she instructed, “It’s there, if you go deep. Keep feeling into it, and if you don’t feel anything, just feel that.” I became curious, and mentally felt around the area inside my pelvic bowl and abdomen. I’ve never felt the tan t’ien as something very specific, like feeling my little toe. It’s more akin to feeling my stomach after a meal. 

As I rested my attention in various parts of my abdomen, I found a place for my awareness in which I felt something change and radiate through me, not just in that particular spot, but throughout my whole body. It was as if all my cells had settled and realized that they were a part of a bigger whole. A silent electrical hum immersed me. 

The feeling wasn’t specific to the tan t’ien, but it only happened when my awareness was deep inside my center. What surprised me was that this spot was quite a bit lower and further inside than I had suspected (though I do have quite a bit of padding around there), and that focusing on this location reliably translated to a whole-body relaxation, but only when I focused awareness on it. 

For perhaps the first time, I could truly feel what it meant to be connected to my center. It wasn’t a mental thing or something I could force. I wasn’t feeling the specific part inside my body; I was feeling the effects throughout. Words don’t do the feeling justice, but we often interact with TCC through words. Teachers have reminded me over and over that the most important thing is to feel it. To be with the energy and the flow, rather than analyzing from outside of it.

At an individual movement level, my experience is that each movement in TCC has things to teach us. Some of the lessons I have been taught include allowing my elbows to go softly behind me at times, and to open and close gently with the movement; the importance of openness, especially in the wrists and chest; the ease of moving from center rather than moving from the head and hands; and the importance of awareness in accessing the tangible flow of the Chi.

The longer I do this practice, the more depth I find, along with the sense that the more I find, the more there is to be found. The way to learn these lessons, I believe, is by feeling the movement and being curious, and by being willing to try different subtleties than the ones we originally learned. This is not a matter of changing the movement, but rather of letting the movement change us. 

The Universe, by A.B., Albuquerque, New Mexico

During Bass Drum I flow through circular movements and feel connected to the rhythms of the universe. During Around the Platter and Around the Platter Variation, I am the mirror of natural cycles, orbits, and the gravitational pulls of the cosmos. 

The fluidity and continuity drop me into a meditative state of mind. During Bass Drum, I feel boundaries between my small self and the universe blur. It’s the interconnectedness of all things. I sink into movement repetition; my breathing and intention are focused; my mind is quiet; the connection deepens, moving in sync with the universe’s vast energies.

These T’ai Chi Chih (TCC) movements appear simple, but it’s more like they offer a surprisingly easy way to feel more attuned to limitless. 

As a TCC student, I understand that Cosmic Consciousness Pose (just consider the name) might result in similar mental and emotional states, but so far, it’s more of a balancing act. For now, the flowing, circular movements bring glimpses of our connection to something bigger.