Albuquerque
One Breath, One Movement, One Life
While I happened to be the only one in the room at the moment when Justin died, I don’t feel that moment belongs to me. In my experience, Justin was teaching and aware up until the very end, continuing to share ineffable gifts with us all. Over time, these gifts will change and reveal themselves further, unfolding as we are able to sink deeper into their (our) essence.
Justin’s body went through a rigorous physical process in the months and days leading up to his last breath. Part of his process included labored breathing. And yet, as I sat there with a hand resting gently on his knee, seemingly out of nowhere there emerged a single, quiet, effortless inhale and exhale. Soft. Simple. Nothing special, nothing extra, yet complete. Rippleless.
Was that really it? I waited and counted, as he had often experienced the classic stops and starts of breathing of one who is nearing the end of life. And so it was.
Today that singular breath reminds me of our singular T’ai Chi Chih practice. So often it is easy for me to forget that T’ai Chi Chih is more than 19 movements and 1 pose. It is more than 9 repetitions on a side. It is more than Graceful Conclusion pauses in between movements. T’ai Chi Chih is one whole. It is, in effect, One Movement.
How does this awareness express itself? Where does the awareness of this unity reside in the practitioner?
As I grapple with my grief (and other, easier emotions like joy, freedom and gratitude), may I remember this One. Or better, may it remember and express itself through us all. Thank you, Justin.
– Amy Tyksinski, Albuquerque, NM
oh,
dear friend
how I miss
you so. I still
have so much
to learn.
– Dora Derzon, Albuquerque, NM
there
is no
death in death
it is all here,
all now
here
– Carmen Brocklehurst, Albuquerque, NM
With the passing of Justin I had a sense of “What do I do now?” and “Who will teach me?” Very quickly the answer came that Justin gave us all the tools (T’ai Chi Chih and mediation) to help “teach” ourselves. We only have to use them. But it goes beyond that. Since his death I’ve also had the experience of wanting to practice TCC. Not out of obligation or duty, but out of the understanding of the benefits it provides and an accompanying eagerness to experience those benefits. But it goes beyond that. In the actual practice of TCC there is a calm sense of inner contentedness that is a real gift from Justin. Many times this feeling lingers throughout the day. Receiving this gift fills me with a deep sense of gratitude for all that Justin has given. But it goes beyond that.
Justin always seemed to have that child’s state of mind. One where the world is bright and shiny – everything is new and life is an exploration. To be around him was to be in the presence of Joy. He was the perfect compliment to whomever he was with at the time, always giving what we needed at the time, even if we were not 100% ready to receive it at that moment. Very grateful for his presence and tools/teachings he so selflessly gives.
– Doug Harned, Albuquerque, NM
The essence of T’ai Chi Chih means love to me. It means letting go and letting the movements flow softly and easily. The unspoken love that fills the room full of seemingly strangers at a TCC retreat. I always looked forward to Justin’s visit at the retreats. At the beginning of the retreat, I was doing TCC mostly from the waist up. Justin came to visit and he moved all the people from the back row up to the front row. He demonstrated some movements and gave corrections. What a treat to receive a correction from Justin! After his visit, I was doing my TCC very differently. He had helped me to move into a new space with my TCC.
I remember him showing how to turn the waist in Passing Clouds and mentioning how that Working the Pulley was helpful for losing weight. I mentioned to him at lunch one day that I had taken his advice and lost 20 lbs. He smiled and said “no effort.” With the help of TCC, it really is the Effort of No Effort. Thank you Justin for the gift of TCC and your teachings.
– Mary White, Albuquerque, New Mexico
I saw Justin on Thursday for meditation. He was sitting in a chair in the hallway; this was not were he usually sat down. His caregiver helped him back to his bed. When he was lying in bed, I asked him how he was doing. He looked at his hospital bed that had been placed in his bedroom some time ago, and looked at me, smiled, and said “Great!” Since he was being sarcastic I knew he was doing okay. Then he asked what the weather was like outside. It was warm and sunny.
On Friday things changed dramatically. He stopped getting out of bed. This was not what Justin usually did. Hospice said he now doing the death rattle, and they said he had days left to live. My friend had called me Saturday night to tell me about the huge change in Justin and that it would be wise to see him Sunday, not to wait even a day. I was not able to go to meditation on Saturday. I was thinking: I had just seen him up and walking a few days ago.
I went over for mediation on Sunday. Justin was sitting up in his bed. I was doing TTC in his bedroom. The caregiver and a TCC teacher gave him some water and then feed him some soup, vegetables and ice cream. Then more people showed up for meditation, so we went to Justin’s meditation room and meditated. I believe doing TCC and meditation at Justin’s house brings peace and joy to everyone there.
I went to see Justin on Tuesday. He was lying peacefully in bed while I did TCC in his bedroom. The caregiver told me that they thought Justin may have had another stroke on Friday. They were worried he had stopped speaking, but he was speaking today. When the Hospice caregiver came to give him a sponge bath, Justin told him “That hurts my back.” He was resting a lot and was being given morphine for his back pain, but he did look some of his visitors in the eyes and say “Hello.”
Since Justin had not gotten out of bed since Friday, most of us realized the end of his time in his physical body was nearing. Wednesday morning many friends were at his house, some who had not seem him in awhile. Around lunchtime, many people were saying their goodbyes and left. Some people remianed at his house. Shortly after that, Justin took his last breath. When doing your Tai Chi Chih practice, see if you can feel his presence with you. I can.
– Judy Hendricks, Albuquerque, NM
The Sea of T’ai Chi Chih
T’ai Chi Chih
Serenity in the midst of activity
T’ai Chi Chih
Well being, peace, and harmony
T’ai Chi Chih
A connection with the Spiritual,
The Supreme Ultimate
The Sea of T’ai Chi Chih
Flowing and ebbing
Ebbing and flowing
Flowing and ebbing
Ebbing and Flowing
The Sea of T’ai Chi Chih
A beautiful drop of water
you came to be
Two drops of water
you and me
Through Infinite Wisdom
we came to be
Two drops of water
flowing to the sea
Flowing and ebbing
Ebbing and flowing
The Sea of T’ai Chi Chih
– Robert Montes de Oca, Albuquerque, NM
Justin Stone was the real deal. He didn’t flaunt his knowledge or experience; he freely shared and encouraged each to find out whatever it was one needed to learn: “why would you doubt your own experience?” Justin’s life work – with his books, publications and T’ai Chi Chih practice – will continue to provide access to the essential Justin we are now missing. Just because his body gave out doesn’t mean the content of what he left behind is any different.
I was most taken by Justin’s true compassion. The video record of Justin’s visit inside Folsom prison speaks volumes about who and what he was. I can’t quote Justin directly but at this event Justin said he was most grateful for the people that he had met during his life. With his passing, and reading the beautiful tributes listed here [on the website], we can all be grateful that our lives have touched each others’ through Justin Stone. I am also in awe of the love and compassion and Joy that surrounded Justin – especially in his final days. Beautiful and moving. Well done Justin, and well done caregivers.
– Guy Kent, Albuquerque, NM
My fondest memories are when I’d arrive at Justin’s for meditation and he’d be playing the piano. People may have been milling in other rooms, practicing TCC, or calmly sitting and listening, but the air was always filled with peace (and quiet). Over the years, Justin would mercilessly harangue us for all of our chattering, and I, as a chatterer, could be calm and quiet when he’d play the piano. Come to think of it, music transcends words; art transcends words; meditation transcends words; and finally, Tai Chi Chih transcends words. And so, Justin, having finally figured this out about you, I vow to practice more and talk less.
– Kathy Grassel, Albuquerque, NM
I met Justin in 1989 at the urging of my friend and former head of T’ai Chi Chih, Ed Altman. I remember sitting down and thinking “show me what you got.” He looked around the room and said, “I’m on trial with one.” Of course, I told no one I was thinking that and I knew I was with someone unusual. … Another time, I was having vivid sexual fantasies and walked into his house. Before I could say anything, he said, “Vic, I’ve come up with a new song. I’m going to call Pornographic Jazz.” … When I was meditating with him in the desert, he kept telling a story about when he laughed all day with his teacher and sure enough, the next day, I laughed all day. … I could go on and on with countless examples where he knew exactly where I was at without me saying a word. He was special and I will miss him.
– Victor Berg, Albuquerque, NM
Justin never apologized for his humanness. Humans do die. Farewell, Justin, we will keep in touch in spirit. Love and Gratitude.
– Jan Arrott, Albuquerque, NM
Forever grateful to Justin for his gift of T’ai Chi Chih for humanity and his personal teaching of meditation.
– Ginny Morgan, Albuquerque, NM
I had a dream I was talking to Justin. He said, “I had a cat.” I said, “I didn’t know you liked cats!” Justin said, “That is not what I said.” This seemed very clear to me: be aware of Justin’s exact words. Don’t change his words or his movements. That was clear to me.
– Judy Hendricks, Albuquerque, NM
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