Beginner’s Mind

After 18 years of practicing and teaching the T’ai Chi Chih discipline, I developed and hosted the T’ai Chi Chih PBS television series. The day after the first program aired, I received a call from KNME-TV saying what a success the program was. The 20 T’ai Chi Chih books the station had were already sold out and they wanted to order another 100. I was very happy things were going so well, and that my form must be okay because the results of the program were much better than the station had anticipated.

Later that same morning, I went to the Albuquerque T’ai Chi Chih Center with other teachers for our usual Tuesday morning practice. I stood across the room from Justin and watched him carefully as we practiced. I felt very strange and suddenly knew why. I realized that even though I was doing the movements, I didn’t know anything about T’ai Chi Chih practice. As we continued our practice, the feeling became stronger. This was very disheartening. What would I do now? I felt like a fraud. It didn’t matter that the TV program was a success and everyone thought I was great. I was very fortunate to have had the realization of not knowing anything so soon after the first program aired. Most people who came up to me in the months and years that followed didn’t say, “I want to thank T’ai Chi Chih [practice] or Justin for a great program.” They said, “I want to thank you.” Fortunately, I could put these statements in their proper place.

When we first start learning the T’ai Chi Chih movements, we know we don’t know anything. Our bodies make that very clear. We have a tendency to lose our balance and be out of synch with our teacher. It is easy to have “Beginners Mind” when our minds are filled with awe and gratitude. Later, however, especially after becoming a teacher and particularly after we have several years under our belt, this feeling may change. After all, our students are very complimentary. This is a trap. We begin riding the fast track towards being out of harmony with our practice.

T’ai Chi Chih practice is a gift, and one that serves us very well. It is gratitude that helps us know the T’ai Chi Chih movements a little bit better. Through gratitude we come to appreciate what the T’ai Chi Chih discipline is really doing in and through us. Justin has always said that one of the ways to show our appreciation to the T’ai Chi Chih practice is by attending the T’ai Chi Chih Teachers Conference. This year would be a good year to start again.