Expansion & Contraction

“How much more glorious the trip to inner space – and how much more vast.” – Justin Stone

My husband and I walk daily. As I look around at the earth, donning her wondrous Spring season, she is in expansion. Recently, the world shut down in a slow-moving wave. When it reached Fort Collins, it felt like contraction, a big exhale. Waiting for the expansion/inhale to return, I feel called to rest in the pause, a sabbatical.

Resting in this pause, I’m learning about letting go – of commitments, ego, anticipation, the illusion of control, judgments, thoughts and seeking (fill-in-blank) externally.

I find myself experiencing heightened awareness. With nowhere to be, nothing to anticipate, I am free to be, to experience the joy of living in the present moment. Chopping vegetables, spreading pizza sauce, cloud gazing, tadpole hunting, savoring a homemade turtle sundae slowly, planting seeds and pulling weeds. (The latter reminds me of my habit energies: some have short roots, some long, and some are so tenacious they keep returning until I get the entire root.)

I witness expressions of love and beauty all around. Chalk art, neighbors talking over fences or from driveways, wolves howling, bear hunts for children, public offers of assistance to anyone in need and the list goes on.

I have broken through my resistance to a daily T’ai Chi Chih practice.

Though I miss friends and family, I continue softening into what is. I’ve not been to Asia to study as Justin Stone did, yet I see this moment as an opportunity to be the “small hermit” (which I can feel when camping), but I’ve not yet experienced being the “big hermit.”

I feel blessed for this opportunity to rest into the pause, exploring my vast inner space with loving kindness. Maybe when the world’s inhalation comes to Fort Collins, I’ll be a wee bit closer to being a big hermit.