Freedom (December 1993)

There is great joy when a baby is born and great sorrow when that baby, having become full-grown and aging, dies. Yet every baby that is born will die, we’re all dying from the moment we are born. This is not a gloomy statement, it is a statement of facts.

Realizing this, knowing our life and everything in it is impermanent, why do we grieve at what is inevitable? Can we call it ‘bad luck’ that someone dies?

One time the Buddha was approached by a young woman who had just lost her only son. Her grief was great, understandably. She was told that perhaps the Buddha could help her. He listened patiently, then, seemingly in a rather callous manner, said he would not see her that day but she should return the following day. The Buddha suggested that she go to each house in the village and get one grain of rice from each household that had not been touched by death. When she returned the following day, she held out her open hand-which was completely empty. What better lesson of impermanence could there be?

Without realizing (not thinking of) impermanence, we can never find out who and what we are-and without knowing the latter, ours cannot be a fulfilling life. Without knowledge of impermanence and some inkling of who and what we are, we are just on a treadmill. We have good times and bad times, enjoy good health and the opposite, and have a few pleasures and a few pains. All this seems to make no sense and resembles the aimless movements of the tumbleweed tossed around in the wind.

The I Ching says there is nothing constant but change. To invent myths that seem to give us eternal status hardly helps anything. The cells of our bodies and minds are constantly in a state of flux, this is a fact.

Once we acknowledge that, as we grow older, we will not look the way we formerly did and do not possess skills we previously had, we can let go, ‘abandon hope,’ and accept the inevitable, meantime enjoying the freedom from constant striving. Grateful for being alive, enjoying the beauty of each new day, we can be ready to let go when our time has come.