Freedom

We have so much freedom these days that it is hard to conceive what it means to be not free until we fall from grace and lose our freedom. I know someone who took some freedoms and lost his job and reputation in the investigation. Where were his helpers, those other folks or his inner radar to cue him in that maybe he was getting too far from center?

When we practice T’ai Chi Chih regularly we become profoundly aware of the ground. At the same time, we move through the air and get to explore its place in our lives. Many of us, through our movements, begin to realize that the things that have been binding us, restricting us, aren’t coming from the outside. I can only speak for myself when I recall the pain, lack of grace, embarrassment and critical approach I so often experienced doing Carry the Ball to the Side let alone Passing Clouds. I had no clue that the waist directed the movement, though I had received this instruction a thousand times. My arms, wrists and hands would do their own crazy dance, and I would inevitably be in prison yet again in my somatic self. This was a place I was quite familiar with after years of doing massage therapy for a living. I was yearning for a way to hack out of prison. So even my intention was imprisoning me. How did I finally spring from my cell?

I was recently in New Jersey spending the afternoon with Dan Pienciak and doing Seijaku. I had a deja vu moment; I think Dan and everyone else there did too. All of a sudden, I was in the soles of my feet without telling myself to be there. No words. It was even more than that, though. I forgot where I was. I forgot what the next movement was. And it didn’t matter in the least. I had found the way. The interesting thing is that it was Dan reporting this. He was speaking of my exact experience and everyone else’s, too.

It was so amazing and substantial. I had had one of the toughest years yet and suddenly, miraculously, I was transported to the now and I was free.

I think freedom is shared though we have to stand on our own two feet to find it. The more we practice TCC and experience this, the more we are transported to freedom. Perhaps my young friend some day will practice TCC and realize there is freedom in restraint.