Gentle correction or harsh criticism

When I was in fourth grade, my English teacher spent an entire week focusing on how others interpret what we mean by how we say something. The inflection or tone of voice transmits as much, if not more, meaning than the actual words that are used. Our voices usually rise in pitch at the end of a question. Conversely, “statements” are usually spoken in a steady tone, with no rise or fall in pitch. And if we are sad, the pitch tends to fall at the end of the sentence.

I remember this so clearly because my classmates and I were given a homework assignment where we had to practice how many different ways we could say: “Angela is dead.” My teacher didn’t realize I had a sister named Angela, and my Mom got more than a little upset when I kept repeating those words trying to inflect different emotions such as joy, sorrow, shock, and indifference. Once Mom knew it was just a homework assignment (and I changed the name I was using), she was a bit less upset.

However, the lesson stuck with me all these years. Now, as a T’ai Chi Chih instructor, I find myself wondering if the suggestions I give to students on improving their practice are “gentle corrections” or if perhaps sometimes, they are perceived as “harsh criticisms.” When a student (or teacher candidate) is trying their hardest, and still is doing the movement wrong, how we say something is often the most important aspect of the correction. Words spoken with warmth and caring can be perceived by the student in a positive manner, whereas the same words, spoken with frustration or even in just a louder tone of voice, are perceived as negative criticisms.

So how do we find out just how our suggested corrections are perceived by our students? One way is to tape record a class, then listen to how you sound. The results are often surprising and can be quite distressing – just remember to be as kind to yourself during this exercise as you would want to be with your students. Another way is to have someone you trust sit in on one of your classes and provide feedback as to how he or she felt the students perceived you. A third way is to ask a fellow T’ai Chi Chih instructor to help you practice giving feedback.

As teachers, we should strive to let “THE,” the power of inner sincerity and integrity, flow softly through us and out to our students. By letting the Chi speak through us, our suggestions will be gentle corrections and not harsh criticisms.