Going Home & Letting Go

I had just said goodbye to my new friends from Dan Pienciak’s Seijaku Intro/Review course at the University of Washington. I really did not want to leave, but it was time to let go. Dan’s class was so open and relaxed; his ability to convey the power of Seijaku with words and experiences made an exceptional session. I resisted Seijaku for six years because it had already taken so long to find softness in TCC. The thought of pushing through a wall seemed to take things in a different direction. I had had the wrong impression of holding fast and letting go and the impact Seijaku presents. Those doubts are gone.

My wife and I were headed from the University of Washington to a fish restaurant about three miles away along the water. In the car my thoughts slipped back to Dan’s comments about no anticipation, no expectation, be in the present, start softly with the tan t’ien, and then “Oh, there’s the resistance.” Letting go. That resonated in a way that kept me more in the present.

My wife and I had a great time catching up and enjoying boats, kayaks, and paddleboards moving slowly on the water. The weather had been nice the whole week in Seattle and today was no exception. I listened better, without anticipating or judging, to what my wife was saying. More letting go. I could feel her joy as she talked about some fun times she had in Seattle.

That afternoon we caught the light rail to SeaTac airport; it was commuting time so the trains were standing room only. I found a vertical support rail just inside the door to hang on to. As we began moving, it was obvious I didn’t have much practice standing while traveling in a moving vehicle. After some adjustment I began to ground into the soles of the feet. I closed my eyes to better feel the train movements and began to relax, letting go. I opened my eyes to see Seattle’s unique neighborhoods passing by.

Our full flight was on time and we were lucky enough to board early so we were not in any rush. The plane grew noisier as it filled with passengers, and there was a young child nearby who began to cry. So much for the calm I had been enjoying. After 10 minutes the pilot told us they needed to check an engine and it would be another 20 minutes. My mild claustrophobia coupled with engine problems were starting to add up to panic. I focused on the present the best I could and read some of The Vital Force in my lap. I looked out the window to clear my vision.

I thought about the great conference and Dan’s class that had followed. I remembered lunch the first day of the conference, where we agreed that between Sandy McAlister’s introduction the night before and Antonia’s presentation that day, we already had gotten our money’s worth. And yet the conference only got better. There was a much deserved standing ovation for Julie Heryet’s presentation about teaching TCC at Folsom Prison, Sandy McAlister’s helpful movement refinements, and a very fun vocal auction. With those thoughts in mind, the calm returned; I sat with no tension and was able to let go.

At home people asked, “How was your vacation?” It was simply fantastic. How often do you go away and feel this good when you return? My wife and I have a trip planned to Spain towards the end of this year. I hope that it will allow me to let go and enjoy like I have after this conference. I know one thing: I am definitely ready for next year’s conference in Colorado.