Heal Through Grief With T’ai Chi Chih

When I first started teaching in the summer of 1999, I had a goal of teaching TCC classes to people in grief. I networked and wrote to various hospice organizations in Seattle offering T’ai Chi Chih to their clients, but no one responded. Meanwhile I started teaching “generic” classes in my home, at community centers, and at a worksite. Each class had its challenges as I had to pay for the space and make up fliers and “hit the pavement” to get people to come. But during all last year I had this running thread that in the right place and time I would find a way to meet my original desire to teach the bereaved.

PATIENCE AND FAITH (qualities I have learned through TCC practice) paid off. This past summer I made a marvelous connection with a bereavement program at a local hospital. I offered to volunteer a few hours a week to talk with people who had recently lost someone. The bereavement coordinator was describing the programs available and commented that she wished she could start some kind of physical or movement program for people who didn’t feel like talking about their grief. Well….you can imagine how quickly I brought out my TCC business card! She was very excited and has been highly supportive of my teaching TCC classes for the bereaved. Since then I have been able to offer classes in the fall, winter, and the spring. The program pays me and offers the classes free to the individuals who go through their hospice program. My last class has a group of motivated learners who want to continue together with an ongoing/intermediate class, so the program is looking into whether they can offer it as well as a beginning class for new people.

Things I have learned about teaching the bereaved:

• People with recent losses have a hard time being consistent with anything in their lives. They also have a hard time with remembering the moves (because of preoccupation with their grief.) By offering a series of 8-10 classes twice a week (as opposed to weekly) there is a better chance they will be able to carry information over to the next time.

• People experience grief in many different ways. Some people come to class without having dealt with any of their emotional pain. Be prepared for strong emotions to come up with some students right away. Be empathetic and encourage them to see the benefits of the chi as a healing force that not only opens them up to their emotions but will also bring emotional balance to their daily life. If they need to talk with a professional counselor remind them of other hospice support services available to them.

• Even though they want to learn TCC they also want the connection of being around others who are grieving. So we spend the last half hour (classes are one and a half hours long) talking about how TCC is affecting their various symptoms of grief (physical and emotional). Students have also asked me to repeat the new moves again before leaving class. Sometimes it is helpful after having practiced in class to just sit and watch the teacher one more time.

• People are seeking a comforting place to learn TCC. Set up an environment that makes them feel safe and o.k. to be emotional, tired, irritable, thoughtful, etc. Even in the hospital (with its annoying PA system) we got permission to light votif candles in a sand tray to honor their loved ones when they first enter the class. It also helps them to get into a self-reflective mode and let down their outside armor. In these beginning classes I generally critique moves as a group rather than singling anyone out. Exceptions are made after a few times if someone is having a glaring problem. Then I move back into the group and do it by the person while everyone else is still moving.

With each TCC class I am learning new things both about my own practice and about this particular population. It has been extremely gratifying and personally healing for me. I would love to hear other people’s experiences working with the bereaved and am happy to share more information for those interested.

In DEEP GRATITUDE to Justin and Ed and all the wonderful teachers who have helped me find my way with T’ai Chi Chih.