In Search of Impatience

I recently read Justin’s article, “Impatience,” from the November 2008 Vital Force. When I was younger, I thought impatience was something that happened to me by outside forces. Slow traffic, standing in lines, and other delays “made me impatient.” I thought of myself as a victim of circumstances out of my control. Depending on the situation I felt annoyed, irritated, anxious, stressed, and intolerant. My blood pressure rose and my stomach tied itself into a knot. There was no need to search for impatience; it found me.

As I became more aware of my own thinking I realized that I may not be able to control delays, but I always have a choice in how I respond. Why would I respond by thinking, “There is a wreck on the freeway and I will be late to my appointment. I choose to abuse myself by being impatient so that I will be annoyed and irritated. I also choose to invite anger in others by displaying my middle finger.” Making a destructive choice like this, I become an accomplice in creating my own misery. What an absurd choice.

There was no conscious decision to feel impatient; it just happened. I am now aware that my ego was reacting to the invitation to be impatient. And the ego came out to feed. Justin says, “awareness is the root of TCC,” and I now know it’s also the solution to my impatience. Practicing TCC quiets my subconscious egoistic mind and brings clarity to the choices I have in any situation. Instead of feeling helpless, I feel empowered and a sense of inner peace. TCC is a journey not a destination, and consistency of practice is vital or the ego resumes control.

With TCC practice I sense there is also a positive aspect of impatience, the yin and yang of impatience. With balance, impatience can provide the motivation to seek a better way, a way that fosters creativity and innovation. Indeed, impatience that fuels a passion to make the world a better place is worth the search. And for those who want to know the cure for impatience, perhaps Justin will tell us in the next Vital Force.