Oh!oh!oh! uff!uff!uff!uff!uff!uff! sluch!!! Boom! TCC Intensive in Houston, Texas, April 2004

Thank you to Caroline Guillot and Sr. Carletta for organizing the TCC Intensive. Thank you to the Dominican Sisters who welcomed us into such a calm, serene environment in the heart of Houston. I also extend a warm thank you to Sandy who did a great job teaching us patiently all the TCC movements in detail.

I needed this Intensive since I had been certified in 1999 and was a bit rusty. The movements were well ingrained in me, and I thought I was doing them right. Well! What a surprise. I had the impression that I was learning some movements again for the first time. Do I need to say that if you did not go to any type of renewal since your accreditation that you might consider doing one?

I have been back for a week and since then my usual, flowing practice has become a time to relearn all the movements slowly in order to reintegrate the new learning. What’s the use to put myself in such situation? Why am I putting myself through that? I know that the rewards are going to be greater than what I can measure at this point.

My own experience of releasing tension became totally different. As Sandy pointed out to me, I was very soft but had no form. By the time we reached Daughter on the Mountain Top, the tension in my neck had reached a maximum. No words and no feedback were helping me to release the tension since the internal state that was creating it was still out my conscious awareness. Finally letting go, I imagined that I was cutting all the strings that held all my feelings of being responsible for everything, from all that I put on my shoulders. We are now doing Pulling in the Energy. Wow! Through the gentle guidance of Sandy who was holding my hand to experience the movement, I was releasing the hold at my neck. She again spoke about “being soft without sacrificing the form.”

We are now doing Anchor Taffy, sinking, turning much more at the waist oh!oh!oh! uff!uff!uff!uff!uff!uff! sluch!!! Boom! We were filled with sounds that were helping us to move softly, release even more. Very meaningful words! Onomatopoeia! We all got the swiveling of the hip as if we were on a sailboat following the wave of the ocean. No more intellect to guide us through the experience, the experience of gliding, swiveling the hip, turning the waist, all done in one continuous, flowing movement.

“The intent you bring in your practice will bring you a long way, further than anything else.” My intent coming to the TCC Intensive was to relearn every movement more deeply. I also had the intention to discover my true nature more clearly.

We are now day 3 of the TCC Intensive. The new way of doing the movements feels like the adjustments of a whole new system of wheels shifting my perception, my experience of BOOM! The understanding of the interrelation of softness and form became clear for me. I have been working on softness to the point where I no longer felt my body but only the energy. Before that I remember experiencing so much tension. I had no idea what softness meant. Did I had to go to extremes in order for me to understand balance between softness and form, like the Yin-Yang symbol, in the softness there exists some tension (form) and in the form exists the softness? This breakthrough of understanding helps me to realize that the state of mind underneath all this was this: I am either very controlled, tensed in a state of protection, or I am very soft, erased, nonexistent. So I need to bring myself toward a state of balance of existing with a form while being very soft. This understanding gives me the power to be more myself and choose to do softly whatever I choose. I am giving myself the right to existence without control, just allowing, flowing, and being.

The tension was no longer releasing what I was holding from my life experience but the holding against simply existing trusting that I will be safe in this world no matter what happens. Now both softness and form coexist, my shoulders have dropped down; my elbows release easily and stay easily along my body.

When we do our practice, Sandy encourages us to notice our state of mind, really notice it, feeling our body, the movements. Becoming aware of what this practice really does. Stand still. Find something to be grateful for and bring it into your day, your life. I am very grateful for the TCC Intensive format that the TCC Community created to help us teachers and students to refine, to deepen our practice and to become a better person.