Return To Joy

I always regarded T’ai Chi Chih as a journey home, a movement within. Its practice, as well as I can, is an expression of gratitude: Praise to Hakuin Zenji and Justin Stone, for it is the quiet lotus that blossoms inside. “As well as I can” is, in no small way, a confession. Justin always says, “Practise TCC when you want to, and practise TCC when you don’t want to, but practise every day.”

This, I am afraid, is not my case. The ebb and flow of life – and as the Universe knows, mine is a restless one – has often deprived me of the time, focus, or indeed the will, to practise TCC. While it’s nothing to be proud of, this is not a confession in search of absolution. Rather, it acknowledges that turmoil (mostly of the inner kind) can interfere with the daily quest for well-flowing Chi. Perhaps stemming from self-denial, chronic fatigue, or just pure laziness, the resolution to practise TCC is not always within me.

Yet I revel in the knowledge (and in the certainty) that its benefits are always there, just as the sun shines, obscured by clouds or not. This certainty lets me rejoin the movement whenever my body, mind, and spirit are in times of need. And unlike gradually restarting one’s physical training after a long pause, unlike searching for words in a language for long unspoken, TCC is always there, welcoming and non-judgmental in its embrace: It’s a return to joy, a re-connection to the stream. If we know this or if we don’t, TCC always is. Waiting for our return.