Split Mind

Collected by Lisa Stroyan, Fort Collins, Colorado

Editor’s Note: Sandy McAlister leads a Zoom practice and discussion for teachers on the second Saturday of every month.

April 2023: This month’s topic came from Laurie Jacoby, who sent Sandy a message suggesting we talk about the split mind. (If folks have a topic, please email Sandy.) Laurie shared that sometimes her mind is elsewhere. She’s been practicing for many years and has learned to feel the movements, but she gets pulled out sometimes, or while counting or thinking about what to say when teaching. 

Others agreed that this can be a challenge. When teaching, we are often thinking ahead, observing our students for suggestions. Adam Lacey shared that as a new teacher, when he’s describing a movement, he’s thinking about what’s next. 

Joan Weaver, commenting about losing count when teaching, finds it helpful to offer comments only on odd-numbered movements. That way, she knows that the next is an even-numbered movement, and she can usually pick up the count. “But if I’ve lost count, I make my best intuitive guess and, instead of my customary comment about “one more” on the eighth movement, I’ll say, “Let’s do two more” at what I think is seven, thereby signaling to students who are counting that I’m unsure where I am.”

Ed Altman once explained to Sr. Cathy Fedewa that even if he was going into a long day of teaching, he still did his own personal practice first.

Ron Richardson shared a favorite quotation. Daniel J. Siegel wrote that “Mindfulness never met a cognition it didn’t like.” T’ai Chih Chih (TCC) has proven benefits, he points out. What they are depends on the person doing TCC. Being mindful of the practice opens the body to the benefits. This is reason enough not to let the mind wander. In TCC mindfulness is of the body; if Ron’s toes are clenching, he tells them to “get with it” and relax.

Caroline Guilott talked about allowing the concentration to go to the soles of the feet. “This allows us and them to be with the movement.” It’s a matter of letting go, but within the form. Then we can be loose and with the movements. It’s a journey, and we all go through stages. We will change, change again, and again.

I also struggle with getting lost, particularly in my personal practice. While teaching, I try to talk about what is happening as it’s happening. If our mind is split, this encourages students to look backwards or think ahead and apply corrections with the mind rather than with the body. I share with my students an insight from my teacher, Marie Dotts. She teaches that if you want something to shift, all you need is awareness. It will shift on its own. Instead of trying to do it right, be curious and notice.

April Leffler shared that words from the mind are shallow. They are more powerful when they are from the body. “Feel the front knee softening” will translate to students’ bodies, bypassing the brain/head. Present time awareness is a superpower to cultivate because wisdom then flows from the tan t’ien. Linda Braga agreed, saying that learning is more about watching and feeling, and less about words. (See her story on this page.) When she stays calm and open to the next thing needed, it simply flows out.

Caroline said there is an evolution in the way we teach. Eventually we find that place of ease where we are totally in our feet while focused on the whole class (this takes time and practice). “The quicker you can relate to the movement from the inside, the easier it is to demonstrate and give pointers that are relevant in the moment. The practice is no longer in the vertical but is unified in the horizontal as well. The vision is simultaneously inside and outside.”

Sheila Leonard suggested that it’s all about allowing, and we don’t need to run ahead. Justin said, “Let T’ai Chi Chih do T’ai Chi Chih.” Laura Star finds value in letting go of the number of repetitions. Worrying about the number keeps her in the mind. “Justin encouraged us to be flexible,” she says, and her students love that he said you don’t have to do all 20 movements and can pick five or six. “This practice is not rigid. It’s flowing, and so beautiful.”