Surprise… Why, How, What

-rundle

Much to my surprise I have found teaching T’ai Chi Chih on Zoom enjoyable! Why was I surprised? After all, sharing the Chi – teaching or practicing – anytime anywhere is enjoyable, joyful and joyous, isn’t it? I was aware that I had resistance to teaching remotely with all of the technical issues with computers, software and whatnot. I overcame those practical obstacles and thought I was done. Surprise taught me otherwise.

How? Surprise arrives offering two potential gifts: 1) the gift of seeing with new eyes, and 2) the gift of wonder which always comes with the possibility of insight and inner growth.

The first gift of surprise sends an immediate spark, at times accompanied by a satisfying “ah ha” moment. One can take delight in it, but then… slip right back into the routine of living through the filtered stronghold of the vasanas and samskaras, our habit energies and patterns. These paths of least resistance, the “high-speed rail” of neural pathways, become even more chronic as a result. The new is not sustained. The patterns remain ingrained. The spark is gone.

Or, the gift of seeing anew can provide a second gift: the spark of surprise evolving into the sparkle of wonder. How does wonder manifest? Seeing with new eyes, if acknowledged consciously, can interrupt an assumption or a habitual belief beyond the “ah ha,” offering an opportunity to study the subject at hand, in this case the self; self-study (i.e., gaining insight into the thoughts and ideas we hold). These thoughts and ideas percolate to the surface and beg for examination. This process begins with humility and sincerity – teh. One must be interested – self-interested – and touched with humility to gain access to introspection. Justin spoke of the habit energies and encouraged us to examine them through introspection. Justin said that if we would practice TCC regularly our insight would continue to develop and deliver us to the Truth.

What did I learn about myself and what changed? I discovered that I believed my teaching would not be received, that the Chi would not communicate directly with the students through me, that the barrier of remote learning would be too vast. My arrogance posed as insecurity as if in secret. Through this wonder-filled moment of surprise I saw the Truth and Love of the Chi, and the Truth and Love of me. I have come to understand that there are no real barriers in sharing this Truth, this Love, this Chi.