The End Is The Beginning

At the end of the Portland T’ai Chi Chih retreat, each of us received a message on our seats. I was tired but exhilarated, and I felt better than I had in a while because of battling cancer surgeries, chemo, Bells Palsy and emotional distress. The message on my seat read: “Like the mysterious snow leopard of the Himalayas, Chi hides itself inside the body manifesting its beauty as radiant health.” Yes! That’s what I’d been seeking – the Chi within me so I could feel it as a living, breathing thing. I had lost touch with that energy. I knew it was there; it just seemed elusive. Meditation allowed me to recognize it, but it felt deeply buried and dormant. I didn’t know how to re-awaken it. What worked in the past was no longer effective. I was trying to force it. Meditation had become full of effort and stress.

Marcella had suggested TCC while treating me, and since she had done wonders with my health, I followed her suggestion. It was a breath of fresh air – literally. The Chi within my body slowly awakened and reintroduced itself to me and my surroundings. Slivers of happiness made me smile. There were short periods of time where I actually felt good. This, and being gentle with myself, had been missing from my life for a long time.

Feeling the energy moving within me grew slowly and then blossomed during the retreat. I just needed time away from life’s distractions to let the incubation period follow its natural course of birth. The more I continue to practice, the more a sense of wellbeing embeds itself. My breath is calmer, my body more stable, my sense of being rooted-while-flying is more present. The marriage of different, effortless meditation and TCC is a tonic.

While doing my practice, I feel the roots of my soles buried within the ground, but my being feels like a very stable bird cruising above the earth. Both are joined within my tan t’ien. My hands hold a golden ball of light, with energy that’s calming and stimulating. I am completely aware and present. In thinking about the snow leopard from the message, I can visualize this very powerful cat within me. The difference is that she is now purring.