What Keeps You Going?

In 2009, my wife was hospitalized for life. I was working all the hours available to cover all the bills plus the ones generated by her care. I was running to rehabilitation facilities where she was sent plus taking care of our little four-legged Cody with added help from my neighbors. A simple thank you to them seems not enough.

About the same time I took a survey at work for our insurance company. The results indicated I was experiencing rage and depression. It was suggested that I have more sex. That would be difficult, considering that my wife walked into the hospital, is now paralyzed on her left side, and will remain hospitalized until her passing.

After three rehab facilities and deciding to move my wife to be near family about three hours’ drive from me, I was running on empty. Up came the survey again in 2010. I was still angry about the previous survey conclusions but took it anyway. The results again indicated rage and depression, but this time it was suggested I look into T’ai Chi Chih. I remembered having heard this name from my massage therapist and asked about it at my next appointment. She was starting a new course in two weeks. Was this coincidence or Karma?

My first class was an eye opener. “How am I going to remember this?” I wondered. “I can’t even duplicate what she’s doing.” Well, she’s a great teacher and patience is a virtue I needed. I’ve continued with all of her classes and workshops since 2010.

The first thing I became aware of was feeling calmer. My high blood pressure was coming down. In the summer of 2012, I left my job because of scheduling issues. While taking care of Cody, our home and myself, and before my insurance coverage ended, I scheduled a doctor’s appointment and asked, “Why I am still on medication for high blood pressure?” He said, “Let’s give it a try” and stopped the medication.

My diabetic blood sugar level also had been dropping. I can only attribute this to my TCC practice, as I’d made no changes in diet or exercise. My blood pressure since has stabilized and is normal – so far, so good.

If only I were more disciplined in my practice. At Thanksgiving I developed shingles. What a wake up call! At the same time, I was invited to advance to Seijaku and ordered the DVD from Good Karma Publishing. While ordering, I noticed the article about how practicing TCC can improve immunity and help prevent shingles outbreaks. I’m grateful this happened.

Once my course of medication was over, I had a clean bill of health, but endured severe pain at night and felt like a zombie during the day from lack of sleep. I started daily practice again and in three days the pain was noticeably less; in five days I could sleep; and in seven days the pain was gone. That was so much better than the diagnosis that shingles could possibly last for weeks, months or years.

In December 2012 at a stroke awareness meeting for caregivers and people who’d had strokes, I met someone who practiced TCC after his stroke. He invited me to his group’s monthly meeting and at our first practice I learned how intertwined this TCC community is. My teacher taught their teacher, Hope Spangler. What a coincidence – it made me think about how one person can affect so many.

Falling back into a lackadaisical life, being almost alone at home and having no employment prospects, I let my practice drop off again. Then I received another wake-up call: Cody passed away on May 30. After I wrapped and buried him, wondering what to do from now on, and grieving, I did a TCC practice. It quelled my grief during practice and for a while afterward. The next morning, the same thing happened but longer-lasting calmness came over me. I look forward now to practice; it has truly helped me get through Cody’s passing and being alone.

Now I’ve had my first Seijaku lesson. Wow, this is the mortar that fills between the bricks. I grieve but have TCC and Seijaku to look forward to and hopefully a teacher accreditation in the future.

During June’s Stroke Awareness Picnic, I was asked, “What keeps you going?” With no answer, thinking about this article I wanted to write, that question seemed like a fitting title. Recalling these past moments, I realize TCC was the common thread that has brought me to this day. If this article inspires at least one person to follow through with TCC, it will be worth my time writing. “Practice, practice, practice,” a wise person said.

Thank you, Justin Stone, for bringing this tool of TCC for all to use to shape our lives and our minds. Thank you, Good Karma Publishing, for supplying resources for all. Thank you, Jean Markey, for being a truly great teacher and friend. Thank you to all the friends I’ve met through TCC.