What Really Matters

I just found a note written to myself months ago after practice. “It’s not about solving all the problems in my head, or whether or not I’m perfect. What’s real (the present moment) is what matters. Trust is a big part of letting go, and coming home to myself.”

Sometimes I get ahead of myself when moving; I’m not with myself. It might be getting into my head, anticipating the next movement and rushing the close, my hands getting ahead of the weight shift. Do you know the feeling of being ready for action, queued up and ready to jump at a moment’s notice? We let that go in T’ai Chi Chih, which is a subtle but very important shift. Getting ahead of ourselves or over-extending causes effort and tension. If your shoulders are ahead of your waist, for example, that will probably cause tension somewhere in the backside of the body, as it holds you up.

The phrase “be patient with yourself” came to mind. From a mental perspective that means letting go of critical thoughts, such as “I messed that up; on the next one, I have to change x or y.” Try noticing without judgment.

When I’m with myself, all of me moves and arrives at the same time. I can let go and trust my body and the Chi to hold me up. I sense the body moving all at once, in sync, “moving in slow motion, as if in a dream.”

TCC teacher Linda Braga’s booklet, Seven Qualities of Movement, talks about the quality of synchronicity, when all parts of the body are moving as one. “Synchronicity allows the body to move in the most efficient, effortless way.” She explains that synchronicity in TCC requires the coordination of movement in three dimensions: upper/lower, left/right and front/back of the body. “When these dimensions are coordinated and the body is moving as one, synchronicity is present. Synchronicity allows a person to move with the ‘effort of no effort,’ just being carried by the forces of gravity, the weight shift, and the flow of the Chi. “

By staying with the current moment, with our centers, with ourselves, we can connect to what is real, moment by moment, and expand it with our awareness. What matters is what is real right now.