When not trying, student feels chi

Student of Sharon Sirkis

In the beginning, I was somewhat skeptical about this Chi thing, I was not sure what it was or how it worked but I was trying to keep an open mind. The first couple of classes were difficult for me, I kept trying to feel this Chi but I always left dissatisfied because I felt like it was kind of a hoax. I never practiced at home because I felt really stupid. I knew I wasn’t doing the moves correctly and even when I thought that I did it right it did not feel relaxing, it felt awkward. Then one day I decided to give up trying, I knew that I would never get it. I thought to myself that I would just go through the motions in class and pretend that I was practicing at home and get my PE credit.

The next class was a moment that I will never forget. We had just started learning Daughter in the Valley and I was not putting too much effort into doing it right, and I felt it. I felt this surge of energy flow throughout my body. From the bottoms of my feet to the top of my head, I felt heat and tingling, something that I had never felt before. I was amazed; words do not really express the feeling that had come over me. So, I think that I have figured out the secret, and that is to not care what you look like or how stupid you feel, but to just go with it. That has been something that I have always had problems with, letting go.

Before I began T’ai Chi Chih I was an extremely stressed out, overworked, lethargic, person. I prided myself on keeping as busy as possible because that prevented me from dealing with the issues in my life that I could avoid. I used to work from 8-4:30, go home to change and then go to my night job from 5-2am, weekends was when I would work doubles and make the most money. After getting into T’ai Chi Chih I realized that the only sunlight that I saw was from my car. Maybe it was timing or maybe T’ai Chi Chih was the reason, but I decided that I was not taking care of what was most important for me in this world, me and my happiness, my life needed to change and it has. Now, I work three days and three nights a week, on my days off I pride myself on doing things for myself, like reading or writing or T’ai Chi Chih. I do practice my T’ai Chi Chih daily, and I still feel that energy flowing. I love knowing that there is an exercise that I can do that makes me feel content. My whole life is finally content. Is it all due to T’ai Chi Chih? Maybe, but it has definitely brought something into my life that I have never had before, peace.