Clouds Move

The year before my accreditation was filled with all sorts of challenges. I had signed up for an intensive and just days before it was set to begin, I started experiencing incredible hip pain. I thought I had dislocated my hip, but it was tendonitis and bursitis. I made my way through the April intensive and was determined to heal by November in time for accreditation. I did physical therapy religiously and by August started to feel better.

Then came the second challenge: I fell on my knee. Initially the doctor thought I broke my kneecap, but after a closer look by the radiologist, I was told I had a birth defect called bipartite patella. In short, my kneecap bones never grew together when I was a child. My knee was very badly injured, and it was months before the pain would be gone. I had to tell both my T’ai Chi Chih instructors that I would not make it to accreditation. “It’s going to be okay,” I told my teachers. “I will continue my practice seated and go to accreditation when I am ready.”

During the ensuing months, I came to know TCC in whole new ways. I learned seated TCC, watching Sandy’s tape and learning from my teacher to make all my arm movements smaller. There were several wonderful surprises. As I made smaller circles for Daughter on the Mountain Top, I actually felt more Chi. I practiced TCC mentally. The softness and stillness of mental TCC brings an inner serenity that words cannot give voice to. It was a deeply healing time. My love for TCC practice grew and grew.

For several years I had two words written on a paper hanging in front of my desk. Clouds Move. I got the phrase from Justin Stone. He wrote, “The sudden squall is neither good nor bad, and when felt in its absolute value that brooks no duality, it is merely what it is. When the storm is over, the clouds break and the sun shines once more. We know that behind the clouds it has never ceased to shine.” (Climb the Joyous Mountain)

I tell those injured or disabled that there is more than one way to practice TCC. Each of the ways to practice (standing, seated, or mentally) is beneficial and healing, and it is an experience one can only benefit from through regular practice. I encourage them to picture those two words: Clouds Move.