A Veteran’s Seijaku

What follows are the thoughts — immediately after our Seijaku session — of my student who is a U.S. Army Veteran. This former officer has experienced more profound physical and mental benefits from our once-or-twice weekly sessions than anyone I’ve encountered during my nine years of teaching:

I’m a 100% disabled Veteran with multiple physical and mental health struggles. Since I’m no longer able to work, my sole focus is on my wife, our three boys, and our life together. Learning and practicing T’ai Chi Chih (TCC) has caused me to shift from constant yelling during moments of upset to speaking softly, and only after considerable thought.

This change is most obvious in my relationship with my 15-year-old middle son. I’ve gone from struggling to find ways to calm down during our disagreements to consistently keeping my cool. Truth is we rarely even reach the boiling point anymore.

He’s currently seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist for addictive behavioral and major impulse control issues. But after my Seijaku session with Jessica today it occurred to me that this practice might very well help him retrain his brain. I’m going to begin exploring this possibility with him and have really high hopes for positive outcomes.

Some may remember that I “accidentally” began taking TCC classes in 2013, a time in my life when my mental health was significantly compromised (even though I was already taking a great deal of prescription antidepressants). But due primarily to TCC and the various ways in which the practice has helped me “turn my thoughts to joy” (thank you Justin), I’ve been medication-free since 2018. 

Although I still wake up with a general sense of “overwhelm” most mornings, plus occasionally struggling with seeing half-empty glasses at every turn, these are the times I feel even more blessed to be a teacher. My experience has always been that the practice quickly, consistently, and dramatically shifts my entire headspace.

In 2020 my physical health took a substantial nosedive, most likely from my involvement in the federal T’ai Chi for Veterans program and the extraordinary stress that created in my life. But I am grateful to report my formerly robust somatic constitution is now returning to balance as well.

That said, the following thoughts spontaneously flowed into my mind immediately after a one-on-one Seijaku session with one of my longstanding Veteran-students. (I dictated this into my phone to disable my typical urge to “get it right” by editing and curating everything I write):

• Peace… deep peace. No sensations of needing to be somewhere, go somewhere, do something.

• Quiet mind. Quiet connection to my student, to my body, to my life. 

• Feelings of comfort with things, simply as they are. 

• Physical sensations of ease all over my body: easier to breathe through my nose and fill up my lungs, no constant drip, drip, drip down the back of my throat, no need to clear my throat and find my voice.

• Heightened awareness of the micro-movements of my upper body as I sit on this chair.

• Sensations as if I’m almost floating, sit bones simply kissing the chair, no feelings of weight or pressure there.

• I’m neither hot nor cold… just being in this deep sense of comfort and utter relaxation.