Am I Ready to Teach

Since I attended Teacher Training last June in Alameda, CA, I have been doing a lot of soul-searching regarding my readiness to teach. Health problems and other imbalances in my life have denied me sufficient energy to give as a teacher in addition to my on-going commitments of marriage, parenthood and employment, not to mention personal growth/development! Originally, I chose to attend the training, not so much to become a formal T’ai Chi Chih teacher, but to deepen my practice and to work more intensely on form. My coaches told me I was ready for the training; Steve accredited me. Yet, inside, I did not feel the call, nor the readiness, to teach.

Now, nearly a year later, I still do not feel ready to teach. My health is improving and T’ai Chi Chih continues to be an important part of my life, deepening my spiritual awareness and helping me to discern my path at decision points in my life. In recent years, even before T’ai Chi Chih, I have been working toward achieving integration in my life: a balance of body, mind and spirit. Of course, it is a life-time, even life-times, work–and–I realize that teaching T’ai Chi cannot wait until a teacher is fully evolved. But–I think it is important to remember that, as teachers of T’ai Chi Chih, we are opening a door for our students, to a path of personal evolvement, if they choose to follow it. We, as certified teachers and practitioners, know what a profound influence T’ai Chi can become in our lives, a catalyst for major change on many levels. In order to be of help to our students when they encounter such personal upheavals, we have to have walked down that path ourselves–and come through to a measure of wisdom in our own personal transformations.

I have been studying and practicing T’ai Chi Chih now for four years. I recognize and accept that students do look up to their teacher–as they should. At a recent T’ai Chi Chih Teachers Gathering the discussion covered experiences of running into students outside the classroom. One comment was made that a particular student, crossing paths with a teacher in a grocery store, seemed surprised that T’ai Chi teachers do such mundane activities as shopping–or perhaps even eating! Yes, it is natural for a student to look up to a teacher, to respect that person, to see him/her as a role model–particularly when teaching something like T’ai Chi. My belief is, that as T’ai Chi teachers, we should have a deeply spiritual perspective in our lives: while we do grocery shop, maybe we do it differently: may be we live with more mindfulness, doing whatever it is that we are doing, more fully, consciously, responsibly. In other words, our spirituality is integrated with the rest of our lives.

I know I am not presently ready to be a role model. It is truly a profound responsibility, as well as an honor, to teach something like T’ai Chi Chih; I simply do not feel worthy to do so at this point in my life.

I believe that, when I am ready, when I have evolved enough, there will be students for me to teach. Until then, my energies: physical, mental and spiritual, need to be devoted to evolving to further balance. I am learning to trust the process and let the chi guide me. My continued contact with other T’ai Chi teachers, and with Justin and Steve when possible, will also help me. After all, you are all my role models and my teachers in much more than T’ai Chi!!!