Ceremony for Clear Communication

Liz Salada, San Leandro, CA

One of the more centering activities that I recall from the 1991 Conference in Minnesota last year, was the ‘Vietnamese Tea Ceremony’ led by Jean Katus and her assistants, Jeanne Engen and Chris McLain. A beautifully simple ritual, which allowed us to quietly honor each other’s presence, created a profound settling within our large group. While serving and drinking tea together was the means, the sharing that followed was most nourishing. It came from a clear deep place, which I guessed as the source of our union.

Perhaps we will meet again in this way at this summer’s 1992 conference, through the ritual of joining at Vallombrosa, to practice T’ai Chi Chih, to sit and share, or sometimes just be. Breathing in our clear deep air in this place where we are fortunate to come together.

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A method for developing communication skills that is sometimes used in groups is that of dyading. Two people (a dyad) sharing one-to-one, through taking turns in listening and speaking roles. Somewhat different than dialoguing, because there is no interruption, not even non-verbal response, when being the listener, that is all you do. Usually this takes place for a 3-5 minute period per person. A few deep breaths are taken and then the roles switch. The listener becoming the speaker the same time period. Sometimes a specific topic or question has been posed for the speaker to contemplate or free topic choice is encouraged.

The merit of such a method is that it allows each person to speak their ideas and feelings freely without comment (agreement/disagreement) of the listener being interjected. The message or communication stands on its own, just as it is, and is thereby honored without judgment (as is the person who opened himself in sending it).

At the end of the dyad there is another 3-5 minutes of open dialogue, without the formal structure. During this time any response to what was shared with or by your dyad partner may be acknowledged, or any additional thoughts that have come up may be voiced. At anytime during the whole process silence is also respected, if a lull occurs, it is considered natural, too.

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The true spiritual Way
consists of nothing less
than the arduous work
of removing everything
we never were!

– Steve

It is a spiritual life when we are rightly resolved within. All are symbols, props, mirrors, which can be utilized wisely to assist our destined Re-membering.

– Steve Ridley