It’s Not About The Pants (May 2018)

One hundred thoughts swirl through my mind as I decide whether to once again take up a T’ai Chi Chih course. A formal class with instruction, correction, and probable solo demonstration of skills with critique? My schedule is loaded … it’s been too long since the last formal class… I won’t be able to keep up… I’ll likely be the oldest kid in class… and what about the pants? She settles on a class and the clothes, brushing past a well worn, now too-large pair of olive green cotton drawstring pants on her way out the door.

Earlier this century, in preparation for my introductory TCC class, I examined my wardrobe for some “loose, comfortable clothing and supportive, flexible-soled shoes.” Finding nothing wholly appropriate in my collection of flip-flops and boot cut jeans, I searched various shops. Many hours later, armed with one pair olive green cotton drawstring pants and two black velveteen T’ai Chi shoes, I felt ready.

Over many months of classes, I dutifully washed and pressed those cotton pants because when I put them on I was in the zone. They brought me down to earth; they set the stage for the centering, healing experience that TCC would become. On occasion, when returning from travel or otherwise detoured, the pants would not be ready. So, there were substitutes: stretchy yoga-styled pants, and even jeans one day, when making class on time was questionable. Then there was the black pair.

I branched out, realizing those beloved olive green cotton drawstring pants would not live forever. The new ones, too, were cotton, equipped with drawstring and loose enough to move in. They were too large, really, but with my long-legged profile it was a necessary compromise.

After class, my teacher (who was my dearest friend by then) noted my new look. She was so accustomed to seeing me in my TCC “uniform.” She said with her big, always-from-the-heart smile, “Your pants, they’re black, and really, really … well, big.”

It was true. Then we talked about pants: her dozens of funky, colorful, wild and crazy pants and my olive green pants and substitute big black pants. We agreed that sometimes donning a suit of clothes to get in the zone, in the spirit of things, makes a difference. In the end, though, it’s not about the pants.

It’s about awareness, slowness, softness, economy, circularity, continuity, synchronicity. It’s about the desire to head to a calmer place, to heal and to help the circle in which we practice remain whole. It’s never about the pants.