Justin Encounters

My personal encounters with Justin Stone were purposefully limited to T’ai Chi Chih conferences we both attended in 2000, 2001 and 2005. Thanks to my friend Nancy, I did speak with Justin briefly at the 2000 New Jersey conference, but felt awkward. To be honest, I feared Justin’s wrath, so I avoided him. I’d witnessed his direct, firm style at conferences and lacked the courage to receive that kind of feedback.

Because of my fear, I also avoided going to the Albuquerque TCC Center or attending TCC events. I also knew that excess weight irritated Justin and I’ve had a fat stomach most of my life and didn’t want him to nail me for it. So, as I imagined myself being the target of his wrath at a Tuesday morning practice, my instinctive reaction was, “No way!”

As the years passed, I regretted my lack of courage and thought about attending Justin’s birthday party in 2010. I’d assisted with the conference that year and knew he’d like that. Then I realized I’d be attending for my own ego, and thought that was a wrong reason. Also, Justin’s health was beginning to fail and I knew in my heart it was just too late to ever visit him. I’d always been grateful for his gift of TCC, but also very disappointed in myself for not having the courage to learn from him in person.

As I write this article in the early afternoon on March 28, 2013, it’s almost the exact time that Justin died one year ago. I’ve been surprisingly blessed this past year to experience what I call “encounters” with him. Real or imagined, I’ve felt his presence several times while doing TCC. His presence hovered above me and usually ahead of me to my right.

He often seemed pleased and was smiling, but not always. Sometimes I got that direct, firm feedback I’d avoided all those years. My favorite wrathful feedback occurred recently when I felt especially spacey while leading a practice with Kansas City teachers and students. In my mind, Justin yelled at me during that practice, something like, “Get in the soles of your feet, Sky.” A few seconds later, unsatisfied, he yelled, “Soles of your feet, NOW.” I smiled with gratitude. Message received, Justin.

I often practice TCC early on Sunday mornings at the Rime Buddhist Center in Kansas City with one of my students, Jack. We practice in the main shrine room before anyone else arrives, and it’s joyous in that stately brick building more than 100 years old. One Sunday, not long after Justin died, Jack and I were just finishing our practice and came to rest.

After a few moments, Jack turned to me and exclaimed, “Did you feel that?” Yes, I had felt it. We had both just experienced a Justin encounter. That time I sensed his presence just above a picture of His Holiness the Dalai Lama, and Justin seemed pleased.

How cool is that?