Missed

“How’s that workin’ for ya’ Mary?” Sarano would say and then laugh that great, slow infectious laugh. I miss that laugh. I miss him. I miss the way I was, the better person I was when I was with him, when I was in his coaching program. I also miss Joe, the imposter. I miss the calls, the lift a quick call would give me and knowing that I’d lifted him at the same time. But as he’d say, “It is what it is.” I miss Rob. Rob who expressed his goal to be just like Christ. I miss him and I miss that special chunk of time that Sarano, Joe, Rob and I had.

I miss Justin Stone and the way I was in his presence. I miss the strength he displayed in his softness and I miss being a part of his meditation group, his circle of special friends, his worldview, his teachings.

I miss my brothers. I miss being a part of their daily lives. I miss knowing what foods they like, how they are with their children and how they want to spend their retirements. I wish I knew their darkest secrets and what keeps them up at night so I could help them resolve it. I wish we’d shared a longer childhood together. We share a past – our unique past that can bring tears and shock to a stranger sitting next to me on an airplane if they ask those precise questions that result in my life story quickly pouring out. Pouring out to soften their heart or perhaps to give them a new appreciation for their own special story? Maybe it’s our role to share our story. Or is it to write a new one, one that’s the same story but shared in a new way. Shared with appreciation and gratitude for how it was, rather than with regret and anger for the way I’ve been remembering it. It’s a thought.

Pyramid Poems

Preface from Alice Holden: “We in San Antonio dedicate the first Saturday of each month for T’ai Chi Chih review and enrichment. One group was so enthusiastic that after we completed an entire practice (with some suggestions along the way), we decided to write Pyramid Poems, then walk, and then do another period of TCC in the Korean Pavilion.”

tao

is God

yin and yang

circulating

within me

and through

all

– A.H.

joy

having

this group here

inspiring me

by their love

of the

chi

– A.H.

yin

comes in

feminine

with subtleness

like the moon

urging

rest

– A.H.

yang

enters

masculine

its clarity

like the sun

gives us

life

– A.H.

tao

i know

i forget

when chi is here

yin or yang

i don’t

know

– R.C.

joy

flowing

from my mind

thru my tan t’ien

to the ground

rides on

chi

– R.C.

yin

and yang

cool and warm

recirculate

beginning

at the

end

– R.C.

yang

is weight

but soon gone

round the t’ai chi

be coming

weightless

yin

– R.C.

tao

brings joy

thru movement

and centeredness

expressing

thru the

chi

– C.G.

joy

is like

a feeling

that is so cool

that it is

even

fun

– C.G.

yin

female

instinctive

intuitive

creative

it brings

joy

– C.G.

yang

stronger

purposeful

like a tiger

pursuing

its prey

now

– C.G.

tao

made of

3 letters

tao yin

chi yang chi

you and

me

– M.M.

joy

flows free

inside me

come out to play

to day it

will be

fun

– M.M.

yin

softly

like feathers

falling from clouds

tiptoeing

throughout

me

– M.M.

yang

fang like

& fear ice

moves like dragons

through out time

creates

space

– M.M.

P.S. from Alice Holden: I also have to tell you something special – A painting Justin gave me many years ago hangs in the room where we practice and I always try to face it during a session. It’s amazing, but I really believe Justin shares insights, encouragement and enthusiasm through that painting during a practice. I almost always receive a good message, often remembered from his comments during his stay here, and always inspired by his spiritual presence. We are so graced by this practice. Keep it going, folks.