New teacher relates her growth

Since my teacher training in October of 2000, I have experienced sometimes mind-spinning changes in my attitudes. Some long held beliefs have gotten a serious workout (and so have my tear ducts). I feel I have an intensity of feeling that only existed rarely before. Now it seems possible to experience life and all its richness much more easily. I believe that I have experienced somewhat of a spiritual awakening — so much so, that, though I had not considered myself “religious” my entire adult life, after teacher training, I went seeking a spiritual community to share with and get support from on an ongoing basis.

I want to share with you a practice I experienced while considering this newly found community.

I did my TCC practice tucked into a corner of the Memorial garden at the church. My fingers had been pretty cold even before I started. However, I removed my coat to give more freedom of movement. I hesitated, but I felt strongly that I was being drawn to this place, this time, to do my practice.

I was originally focused well beyond the walls of the garden into the woods beyond. As time went on, I ended up looking at the wall in front of me. There was a little niche about eye level where the mortar had fallen out and it seemed to hold some interest for me. I realized as I continued my practice on this chilly January morning (snow was still on the ground around me) that I had found my niche (at least for the time being) in this church, this community, and this practice. I felt much gratitude. I felt that the wall was not there to box me in, but to give me a reference point for what lay beyond.

As I continued my practice I was getting to a point where I wasn’t sure it was such a good idea to continue my full practice (my fingers were VERY cold). However, I didn’t want to stop. I just thought to myself, “If I need to, I can stop at any time.” I experienced an overall sense of well-being and didn’t care whether my fingers were cold or not—I was observing, watching, my practice. Then, I remember the startling, but unmistakable feeling of warmth flowing down my arms and through to my fingertips.

As cold as my hands were to begin with, they shared the same incredible warmth as the rest of my body by the time I finished. It not only kept my whole body warm and comfortable, but I could feel the warmth all the way down to the tips of my fingers. For me, that symbolizes the feeling of warmth and support from the whole TCC community, as well as, the comfort I feel from the direction my life has taken. Not that it has been so easy, but that I have a strong sense that I’m headed in the right direction.

I have often nodded my head in agreement as others have written or said aloud how grateful they are for TCC, for Justin Stone, for Ed Altman and for the rest of the TCC community. Now, I guess it’s my turn — Thank-you all for giving me the piece of the puzzle I didn’t even know I was missing!