Nourishing Chi-Pollen

Change, whether we like it or not! Letting go, whether we like it or not! Change and letting go often go hand-in-hand, and we frequently have little control over these processes.

At T’ai Chi Chih accreditation courses, candidates often hit a wall, thoroughly frustrated with their seeming inability to overcome a hurdle. It is at that time they often throw their hands in the air, actually or figuratively, and declare to themselves that they give up. Then, low-and-behold the problem that was nagging them seems to melt away. Unintentionally they let go, and in letting go they are able to move on.

I found myself in the position of sitting back and waiting for the COVID-19 situation to resolve itself so I could get back to my classes and routine. I needed a swift kick in the rump (thank you Pam Towne) to let go of my minimal adjustment to the situation and to move forward with being in the present, going forward rather than waiting in the past for things to resume. Now I am getting excited about the future rather than moping around settling for the past. I had been so resistant to making any change in my life. Even when I did, I went screaming and kicking all the way and made it very hard on myself and on others around me. If I had just accepted the reality of what is now, not clinging to the past and not willing to let go, my transition would have been so much smoother and less painful. But, in hindsight, I didn’t even realize I was clinging to the past.

I am delighted hearing from teachers about how they are finding ways to continue teaching. Some are going to parks or outdoor spaces, others are developing at-home lesson plans they send to their students, others are teaching online. Justin said TCC opens up our creative side and I think many teachers are finding this to be so with developing new ways to continue connecting with their students and even gathering new students.

At a TCC teacher’s Zoom retreat this past weekend, teachers discussed how we might use Zoom for some of our special courses, such as intensives and accreditation, during and possibly after the pandemic is over. Much of what was expressed was that it is a matter of letting go of the known and allowing that what will follow will serve the needs, if we plan with good intentions and an open heart, with the wish for the best possible outcome; if we prepare the best we know how and then we turn it over to the flow of the Tao and have confidence that its unfolding will serve the needs of those attending.

During this time some of us are experiencing more change than others. Some may find themselves in a holding pattern, which is what I felt. I encourage us to explore new horizons. More than ever, we need to reach out. A teacher called me the other day just to connect and it brightened my day. Each day she has a list of a couple people who she calls and I was on the list that day – lucky me. Many are trying TCC Zoom classes for the first time and finding it easier and more rewarding than they thought.

In light of my experience, I would encourage us to explore where we might be holding on or resisting change. It is one thing to have change thrust upon us as with this pandemic, but another how we respond to it. I like Justin’s suggestion, which he got from Paul Reps, of sitting quietly for 10 minutes “each day and just allowing yourself to ‘receive’. No thinking, no technique, no mantra repetitions, no watching the breath, but just sitting quietly in a chair.” I would also add, no expectations. Who knows what Chi-pollen might filter through us and nourish an idea-seed just waiting to sprout.

Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, gorgeous in the end.