Parkinson’s: Graceful & Grace-Full

Until recently, I took movement for granted – the smooth, automatic capability to move or to be completely still. But since the shock of my diagnosis with Parkinson’s Disease (PD) at the age of 52, movement often looks and feels like a completely new sensation. Although I didn’t read it for months, literature on the benefits of exercise (and T’ai Chi Chih specifically) was included in the packet of information that I picked up in the neurologist’s office. Confused, I wondered how someone with a noticeable tremor of the right hand and an awkward feeling of stiffness could fit into the mental picture I had of graceful, serene people practicing incredibly slow, flowing movements in perfect synchronicity.

So I began at the gym with weights and cardio, learning by trial and error and becoming accustomed to the occasional distraction of my unintentionally jiggling right hand and shortened right steps. Not yet on any medication, my awareness and acceptance of my body grew as I turned to meditation, exercise, and a healthier lifestyle. Yet TCC continued to intrigue me. So when I saw a flier about a class starting in a local church, my curiosity won. The symptoms of PD are sometimes exaggerated by stress, so it seemed amusingly ironic to be shaking more than usual when waiting with strangers for a first class on smooth, calming movements.

Any anxiety was quickly replaced with our teacher’s engaging personality; a comfortable camaraderie developed while we explored new stances and movements called by folksy names. In that too-short six weeks, the personal benefits were already clear: I had a more deliberate awareness of a centered stance and shifting balance; a steady focus on moving parts of my body in a coordinated repetitive way while relaxing other muscles; and increased flexibility. Sharing ourselves in the simple joy of moving also led me to forget PD at times, and the tremors to decrease or even disappear. As my knowledge of the poses grew, I put the mechanics further from my consciousness and just let myself be in the moment, feeling refreshingly unencumbered by self-consciousness or worry. A gift indeed.

Since the class ended, I have researched the benefits of TCC more extensively, particularly for those with PD. And while I have experienced many of the positives documented, there is one glaring omission. The written focus is usually technical: the changes in balance, coordination, flexibility, concentration, or calmness – all of which are true. But the enduring change for me was of the spirit: it was accomplished in the mystery of open-hearted interpersonal exchange. Now movement is sacred, conscious. Today the dance of life welcomes me as much as ever, and the sharing of this practice out of love has the power of creative transformation: being more graceful, I am also more grace-full.