TCC Teacher Training: NJ in October – Like Falling Leaves, Letting Go Softly

Course Host

In the scenic hills of northern New Jersey, very close to the New York State line, lies a beautiful private tract of land, surrounded by Ringwood State Park. That particular haven of pastoral serenity of which I write, is called Mount Saint Francis Retreat Center, the site chosen by Sr. Antonia and myself one beautiful Autumn day one year earlier. It is an area where each late October, the foliage slowly brightens into a vivid riot of color, and sunlit leaves float down in cool, soft breezes.

Despite my looking forward to enjoying such a setting for this course, the weeks before were haunted by doubts and inner turmoil. I had never hosted a T’ai Chi Chih event at this particular site previously. There seemed to be a million details and unknown factors to worry about. And then, just a month before the course, I received a phone call from the Center director, informing me that the building containing the space which we were to use for movement, was undergoing renovation and would definitely NOT be ready on time for our course. I quickly made an emergency visit to check out the only other room available, a bit small and with two pillars in the center. I was also concerned about the comfort of the accommodations in somewhat cramped quarters.

But when I emailed Ed Altman about the delayed renovations and a few other misgivings that I had, a reassuring reply came back: “All will be well. We will work with what we are given. No worries.”

No worries!!! “Easy for YOU to say,” I thought. On the first day of the course, I found myself trying to deny that I was coming down with a rather bad bug. “No! Not now!!!”

I was not grounded. Awake that first night, tossing and turning, I was anything but soft. I was forgetting the depth and great purpose of the work that lay ahead…..for all of us, not just for me. As they had so many times in the past, familiar but temporarily forgotten words once again echoed deep within me: “Let go!”

And so became the great challenge of the T’ai Chi Chih movements for the 11 candidates, and for all of us attending the course for five and a half days. Letting go of what we thought we knew. Letting go of tension. Letting go of emotions. Letting go of anxiety. Letting go of EGO! How tightly we tried to hold on, while through the windows we could see outside the softly drifting clouds and leaves floating down, giving us another message.

“Which way do the fingers point?” “How much does the waist turn?” “How should this movement look?”

Paging through my notes from the previous year’s NJ course, I found words of Justin Stone as I had written them quoted by Ed Altman at that course: “The interior landscape is far more vast than anything in the material world.”

As the week went on, many of us became more chaotic inside. Everyone tried harder, and the harder they tried, the more things seemed to fall apart on the outside. The inner silence invited us with every weight shift. “Return the attention to the soles of the feet!”

Walking back and forth for meals between the modern dormitory and the stately stone mansion, which housed the dining hall, the beauty and tranquility of nature’s autumn splendor reminded me of a favorite quote from John Muir:

Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees.

The winds will blow their own freshness into you and the storms their energy,

While cares will drop off like autumn leaves

In the final hours of our time together, the leaves of tension, and of grief, and of fear, and of ego, at last had begun to fall away. And so fell the tears, as well. Silence. Softness. Emptiness.

On the last morning, our final practice renewed us with inspiration. Letting go is difficult, but it can be done. And there is so much more to do!

We were then, and will continue to be, grateful to Justin Stone and the T’ai Chi Chih movements for the breeze that moves the clouds, and that allows the autumn leaves to fall away softly.

Candidates react

The T’ai Chi Chih Teacher Training just completed was a very powerful, and empowering, experience. The challenges were much more difficult than any other training program I’ve ever experienced. It felt like a combination of boot camp and spiritual retreat — which is probably exactly on target as a statement of impact on the participants. I can’t say I’m exactly riding a high now that I’ve returned to “civilian” life. Rather, I am aware of being “recalibrated,” and therefore relating to the world around me with a more heightened awareness of the subtleties of energetic relationships in everything and everyone. I do admit to feeling as if I were floating down the road, rather than clunking along the rutted pavement. I expect that it will take a great deal of what I call “percolating time” for all of the information to really take hold. The good news is that this is all positive growth that will undoubtedly deepen not only my T’ai Chi Chih practice, but also enrich the rest of my life. The renewed perspective is most welcome!

– Pat Weber-Wilcomb

Accreditation exceeded my expectations. Ed’s knowledge, inspiration, teaching, and empathy powerful. Dan’s support and loving softness, and administration superb. . . .

– Michael Isaacs

Dan, thank you for all your preparation weekends. I have a wonderful experience. Love,

– Thuha Bui