The Courage to Make the Right Decision

When I first met this one student in September of ’99, she expressed her love for TCC, and that she wanted to become an accredited teacher. Unfortunately, when I watched her move, she had picked up some very poor habits from a badly done video. I thought about my 16 years of teaching karate as a black belt, and how old habits are the hardest to change. Nonetheless, I was up for the challenge. I strongly recommended that she discontinue using her current video, and switch to Carmen &/or Justin’s tapes. By the end of six weeks she did improve, but still wasn’t ready for teacher candidacy. I suggested she repeat the next session, which she did.

During that time, this student tried to convince me to put her up for teacher’s training in April 2000. She told me if she passed – great, if she didn’t – well, then at least she’d know what to work on. I told her that’s not how it worked, that she needed to be fully prepared and move correctly. I mentioned my own teacher’s training; how I was on the waiting list and had to wait another year. But with extra time to practice, I felt confident in the way I moved, so I didn’t have to worry about whether I’d pass or fail. Once again I was reminded of my karate training. I would never have dreamed of asking to be put up for a belt test. When my teacher thought I was ready, then I would know. I gave her a copy of Ed’s article “Raising the Bar” (3/99 VFJ), and Carmen’s article “Preparing for Teacher’s Training” (9/99 VFJ). I had already given her the “TCC Teacher Candidate Preparation Guidelines.” I told her there may be a training in the fall, and that I’d see where she was prior to that. She was disappointed, but understood.

By the end of the second time around, unfortunately she still didn’t have a handle on the moves (mainly the side-to-side). I could sense she was frustrated with my corrections, but I explained that if she wanted to be a teacher she had to understand the principles, and she had to move well. I wasn’t about to burden Ed with an unqualified candidate whom he would have to defer or fail. The student decided to work on her practice and repeat the class again after the first of the year.

She called and decided against taking the class, however, since one of the nights scheduled was on her anniversary. It was at this point that I began to question how serious she was. Although I believed her excuse, I also sensed something else was keeping her away. Self-doubt started to creep in. Was it me? Was she getting irritated with my many corrections? On the outside she’d smile and accept the correction, but I always felt it was an act, that deep down inside she was really annoyed. She told me she’d be in touch soon. She was hoping to be put up for teacher’s training in the fall.

I decided to be patient and allow the chi to guide me. I let this whole situation go, and four months rolled by. That seemed like a long time, and there was no way I’d consider putting her up for a training without even seeing where she was in her practice. I had an idea. I called and invited her to the final practice of my current class. That way I could see how far along she was. She thought it was a good idea, and agreed to be there.

At the final practice, the student was still not flowing from the center (way too much shoulder movement). Other bad habits were appearing from that previous video, which I realized she had resumed watching. I also discovered that she had not been practicing every day. At the end of the practice she seemed in a hurry. She quickly told me she enjoys practicing, and that she’ll see where she is; if she’s ready, great – if not, she still loves doing TCC. She was all smiles and upbeat, but she raced out of class. She didn’t stop to ask me if I had any other feedback for her, or ask me what I thought. She didn’t want to hear it. I figured that more corrections would seem like undue criticism. This took me back to karate again. How I loved corrections. How I used to hang around after class and learn from other student’s corrections and hope for more of my own. How I realized I was a worthy student because my teacher paid attention to me with his effort and time. How each correction to me was like a piece of the puzzle that I’m trying to complete, not some statement about my self-worth. I thought about how sometimes we can just be too sensitive, letting our egos get in the way.

Deep down inside I knew this student wasn’t ready for teacher’s training, and yet I was conflicted about telling her. My “good girl” started popping in. I wanted to be nice and I wanted to accommodate her. I knew she loved TCC and I didn’t want to disappoint her. But the bottom line was that she wasn’t ready for teacher’s training now, nor would she be in the fall. I thought about what Ed said, “You can’t do the student’s homework for them.” I tried my best, and now it was up to her. I wanted to call her and get this off my chest, but I felt guided to be patient and wait.

Two weeks later she called me and said she wouldn’t be at any more practices or take my next class. She told me that it’s been a tough decision but she’s not going to go through with pursuing teacher’s training. She went on to say how if she has to worry about getting everything just right, and it’s not joyous to practice, then she’d rather just go out on the deck and watch the scenery. I thought to myself this is not the attitude of a sincere teacher. I told her if she wants to be a teacher, then she has to do the moves correctly to keep TCC pure. I also mentioned that now it’s recommended to practice two years instead of one. She told me she was disappointed in herself when she attended the final practice. I listened awhile, then I asked her if she wanted feedback, and she reluctantly agreed. First, I told her that I thought it was tough for her because of the role reversal. She is a teacher in another field, and she is used to being the teacher, not the student. She didn’t comment on that remark. Second, I said, “I think you’re hearing the corrections as criticism.” She immediately became defensive, jumped in and said “No.” She wondered if the problem might stem from her age &/or physical ability. I quickly dismissed that idea; she was perfectly capable physically. This led me to letting her know that I thought her ego was getting in the way. She was quiet on that one and started to quickly wrap up the conversation. She thanked me, and told me she’ll just practice for pleasure. I thanked her for calling me, and I suggested that she might want to try another teacher, but she declined. I know what I said was not easy to hear, and it is my hope that one day she will work through this experience and become an accredited TCC teacher.

I learned a lot from this experience. I learned that wanting to be an accredited TCC teacher doesn’t qualify you to become one. Students must be willing to do the work, on both the physical and mental levels. Hundreds of my karate students have told me they wanted their black belt, but only six did the work to actually achieve one. I learned to trust myself and pay attention to that knowing inside. I learned not to be pulled off center out of fear of someone’s anger or disappointment. I learned that when you take a stand, people don’t always like it, but that’s what it takes to “raise the bar.” I learned that we can’t worry about “making nice.” If we as teachers are true to ourselves and have to hold back a student from teacher’s training, it may be uncomfortable. But just because something’s uncomfortable doesn’t mean it isn’t right. If you ever find yourself in this situation, I would suggest that you tolerate the uncomfortableness, and do what’s right for the student and for TCC. All it takes is a little integrity and courage.