Trust That Nothing Happens By Accident

One of the good things that a T’ai Chi Chih teacher can experience is when a student first “gets it”; when they realize that T’ai Chi Chih practice is more than just the movements. One of the bad things is when a good student suddenly stops coming to classes. I have had both these things happen with Dan.

Dan called and talked to me for quite a while before he signed up for his first class and it was obvious that he had an interest in not only the movements but in the meditation aspects of practice as well. He took a beginning class and then an intermediate class, doing well in both. He bought several of Justin’s books and sometimes stayed after class to discuss what he read. I began to hope that he might deepen his practice and at some point consider teaching.

Then an injury kept him from coming to summer practice in the park, and a job change kept him from the next series of classes. Over the course of a year I completely lost touch with him. Was I disappointed? Sure – but I do try to let go and trust that nothing happens by accident.

So at some level I was not surprised when I got a call from Dan. In the course of his job he had met a young woman who might be interested in T’ai Chi Chih classes. In the process of arranging a meeting between this young woman and myself I did mention to Dan that we were again having open practice in the park during the summer. He came to the very next practice and while he was a little rusty, did quite well. I went over a few things with him and encouraged him by saying that if he resumed his practice his chi would remember what to do.

This is the e-mail I received a few days later.

Hi Bonnie

I feel as though the chi has welcomed me back with open arms and no questions asked – and with the promise of good things to come. I have had a couple really wonderful practices – though all the movements did not go off without effort (I felt a little blocked in an ankle and a little creaky or tense off and on in my knees) several of them simply felt wonderful. And you were right – suddenly everything came back, how to do them all. The one that I really couldn’t recall was Carry the Ball to the Side. I was only doing it half way, but then this morning that one came back to me in full, too. Now I think I have just one small question for you – on one of the Taffys.

With this return to practice I am really feeling the “joy” of doing the movements, of being within the movements, and the joyful aspects of practice. I have never quite looked forward to it, anticipated it with a joyful heart and open mind each day as I do now. I think the chi is asking me to look at the world with new eyes again. And it struck me this morning as I was practicing that the chi has “personality” and that I need not maintain such an impersonal or formal relationship with it. The chi has a bottomless sense of humor and wants us to laugh!

Best,
Dan

A couple of weeks later I received this.

I had my best practice since starting up again this morning, what I felt during and afterward was a breakthrough practice. Quite unexpectedly, the ankles and knees and hips all finally and suddenly relaxed and opened up, the toe and heel just lifted off the ground of their own accord, and I was feeling most of the movements entirely from the soles of my feet, and at such times I felt the truth of Justin’s words during practice that I was nothing more or less than “Tai Chi Chih doing Tai Chi Chih.” The wonderful thing was that I felt the chi moving from joint to joint and up and down my legs as if through my bone marrow, completely relaxing me from the center outward, so that it seemed I was somehow both the source of the movements as well as their vehicle. I won’t expect this every practice but will certainly be glad when such practice comes again. I feel as though the chi is like water pouring into a pail, inviting us not only to become filled by it but to be brimming over, beyond our own fullness; and practice is what pushes the handle of the pump up and down, as if pulling the chi like water up out of the ground.

Dan has been coming to practice since and plans on taking the next intermediate class. He has already asked what an Intensive is all about. And I continue to trust that nothing happens by accident.