Beginner’s Mind (May 2021)

My T’ai Chi Chih teacher moves with grace, balance, strength and stability. She’s the promise of healing, energy and calm. I imitate her and slowly progress. She shows me how to move. The movements begin to come, but there’s a lot to do without doing. Empty the mind, focus attention on the soles of the feet or just below the belly button, left and right weight shifts, yinning and yanging legs, loose wrists making circular arm motions, fingers spread apart, slightly cupped hands, polarity, waist turns, continuity, relaxed effort, softness swimming through heavy air. Practice, practice, practice. The weeks go by.

She flows effortlessly in serenity. I try and try. I learn it’s not about trying. It’s about being the movement. My mind is everywhere: memorizing the order of the movements, the principles of how to move, self-conscious awkwardness. Mental distractions and daydreaming disconnect me from my practice. Sloppy habits come with disconnectedness. My teacher invites me to a weekly group practice including several other TCC teachers led by Marie Dotts. The group practicing together generates positive energy and motivation. Marie shares her practice, experience and the knowledge, wisdom and joy that her practice brings her and through her to all of us. The months go by. 

A weekend workshop is organized and brings Bill Moore to us. He embodies the balance, strength and serenity of my teacher, Marie and the other TCC teachers. He highlights the wisdom of our bodies and the power of the movements to circulate and balance the Intrinsic Energy. Along with Marie he emphasizes the connection and wholeness of mind, body, spirit and the animating Chi.

I go back to Justin Stone and to emptying my mind. Focusing attention on the present moment of each movement. Allowing the movement to circulate the Chi, remaining attentive to the flow and continuity of each movement in each moment. Aware that a deep and profound stillness remains when my practice is complete and the next present moment is here. The breakthrough comes with our capacity to stay connected with each present moment, with whatever it brings and the power of TCC to circulate and balance in us the Intrinsic Energy. But disconnecting habit energies return. Practice, practice, practice.