Transformation Inside & Out

For the TCCcommunity.net newsletter in June 2014 I wrote about my experience visiting Folsom State Prison and joining the men for a T’ai Chi Chih Retreat and Banquet Day prepared by their teacher, Julie Heryet. This year the Third Annual Retreat and Banquet Day was held on March 31st,, and I again was present. Everything I wrote about the experience last year held true for this year, with the addition of a few new men to the group and two more visitors adding their joy to the occasion, Judy Tretheway and Franky Carrillo.

Judy Tretheway taught at the prison from 1998 to 2011. She beamed as she greeted many of the men she had originally taught TCC. The men were so happy to see her again and expressed how much her exuberance and lightness-of-being picked up their spirits.

The other visitor, Franky Carrillo, learned and practiced TCC while serving time in Folsom. After 20 years of wrongful incarceration he was exonerated and is now a free man. He talked to the men about his life since being released and his realization that he had choices as to how he could live his life. He chose not to be bitter, angry or resentful, but to reach out in forgiveness to the District Attorney, the prosecutors and even the judge who passed his sentence. He is now actively working to change the system and the laws for these men.

It was powerful for the men to see Franky and his transformation into a free man, a man grounded in who he is, enabling him to walk freely back into prison. TCC is one of the tools that support his path that, since his release, has led to love, becoming a father and becoming a student at Loyola Marymount University. But what Franky said is the most important thing he does now is to introduce himself as a former inmate. He said, “I am your face out there. I am working to destroy the stereotype of how a former inmate looks, of who he is.”

Many teachers and students in the U.S., Canada and U.K. joined the Folsom group at 2pm for a TCC practice. As Colleen Crossen described it, “Our Seal Beach group came together a few minutes before 2pm. We shared thoughts on how we often limit ourselves and others by focusing on flaws and stereotypes. Our intention was to celebrate with Franky and all of you by choosing to move into the infinite possibilities for transformation, for ourselves and for everyone. We would look to each movement from the rest position as a new beginning and opportunity.”

The following is a reflection of my visit to Folsom Prison last year: “To transform means to change outward appearance or inner nature. I saw the outward transformation of these men. I heard from them about their inner nature transformation. Some of the outward could not have happened without the inner. And some of the inner change could not have happened without the outward change. Several of the men expressed how [TCC] has been a tool and support to them with this transformation and I could see and feel that.”

In Justin Stone’s Spiritual Odyssey there are several articles he wrote about the Chi affecting the mind and the mind affecting the Chi. As we practice TCC the Chi, the life force flowing in us, is affected. We find ourselves softening, slowing down, letting go, and our being, our essence responds and there is a transformation in the way we feel physically and emotionally. Our inner nature, how we respond and react, and even our thinking process are affected by these changes.

Our outside is generally easy to transform. We can change our clothes, get a new hairstyle, have a massage or go on vacation and we feel differently, but it is usually only temporary. It is the inner nature of our being that takes time and dedication to transform. How many times have we found ourselves wishing we had given more thought to our words before giving a response? Are we aware of particular “buttons” that when triggered send us off into an emotional outburst or shut us down? Are we aware of our habitual ways of responding?

Becoming aware is a big step toward transformation, and the practice of TCC is a simple tool that shines a light inward. Becoming still, not just physically, but stilling our chatterbox mind and turbulent emotions allows our inner being to be affected by the Chi and changes happen. Sometimes people have big ah-ha moments and sometimes they are more subtle. But with continued practice, changes in our nature happen: rough edges soften, patience abounds, thoughtfulness spreads, equanimity shines. Justin often remarked that the most common comment he received from people was, “T’ai Chi Chih changed by life.”